Quarantine-life has led me to some very interesting experiences all in the comfort of my home. probably the biggest and most difficult is the journey to self. One of the hardest things to do is observe oneself. I’m a pro at being professionally busy + dealing with other peoples problems (OPP). The whole me I’m still figuring out. I’m still healing. INSIDE I tear myself down and over analyze each moment. “If I did this differently I wouldn’t have missed X mark.” Now that works when analyzing marketing metrics but not self. I’m still trying to fill in holes I thought were already patched. The idea of being ENOUGH is eluding me at the moment.

my therapist asked me to take the week and observe all of my feelings and thoughts. Jot down ideas, interactions and how they make me feel. I used words like CONTROL and TRUST as weapons when they should be advocates. Not meeting the mark haunts my thoughts.

ACCEPTANCE is key. I have to accept what was and wasn’t nurtured in my adolescence. The big Ah-ha moment is was saying aloud “i am not my parents expectations.” Damn!🤯 They gave me what I needed to be this fabulous and now I AM LEARNING TO BE ENOUGH.

The shadow work is never done. And it is ok if this process, my process takes forever because I’m #everevolving. So are you.